Popular birth control pill Loestrin┬« has announced a new campaign to promote safer and healthier sexual practices for a younger generation by combining forces with some of Hollywood’s top celebrities. This June they will launch their largest campaign to date featuring the following famous faces:

Kim Kardashian:


Courtney Love:


Whoopi Goldfinger:


A Woman on Fire:


Casey Anthony:


Joan of Arc:


David Spade:


Christy Coffey:


An advisory from the company includes a risk of side effects, which may include temporary psychosis, but a statement from Loestrin’s ┬« President Mr. Peanut says “definitely, probably not tho.”

sorry im late, i had a thing…

7 Things to do When You’re Drunk and Run into Your Coworker at a Bar


You’ve got on your flyest cat hoodie, you shaved your legs, and you’re ready to hit up a hot Brooklyn bar with your bestie for 1-12 of those “frozen liquor coffee thingys that get you hella drunk.”

You’re drinking a little, flirting a little, and dancing a little TOO much like no one is watching (people are watching. People are definitely watching, in fact you should just stop dancing. You’re at a Bluegrass bar), and you are confident this is going to be a great night.

That’s when it happens. In walks your coworker… what’s her name? Shit, what’s her name? FUUUUCK. You see her everyday, what’s wrong with you? You have absolutely nothing to say to her! She seems nice. Are you supposed to know her? One time you told her you liked her dress. What the HELL is her NAME?!… you know the best thing to do is hide. AVOID AVOID AVOID. Slap the rest of that coffee thingy out of your bestie’s hands and run…. But it’s too late. Eye contact is made. She’s approaching… You’re drunk… Let me get you through this:

1) STOP DANCING. You’re still drunk, You’re still at a Bluegrass bar. She doesn’t need to see this side of you.

2) Don’t give her a hug. WHY DID YOU GIVE HER A HUG? She agreed that was weird, it’s written all over her face.

3) Tell her about the frozen Coffee thing, but leave out the part where you’ve had 3 if you don’t count the first two that you were “taste testing.”

4) Don’t try to guess her name. It’s probably not Susan, and you always guess Susan. What’s wrong with you? Stop trying to guess people’s names when you’re drunk. NO ONE IS NAMED SUSAN ANYMORE.

5)Give her a nickname. Like “Champ” or “homie” or “sugar tits.”

6) Reminisce about that time you guys were in the bathroom together once, and you both agreed the water was TOO HOT! lol. Wasn’t that silly?

7) Pull the bar’s fire alarm and run. Run and run and never stop. Move to Omaha, change your name. Send your mom one last letter goodbye because you have a new life now. Your name is Susan Johnson, and you now work from home after getting your degree online from the University of Phoenix.


1) It’s You vs. Them and only one of you is going to come out alive.

2) You’re pretty much forced to separate from everyone you know and love, and have to spend all your time with THEM.

3) After a while you’re not nearly as attracted to them as you used to be (because it’s possible they may be plotting to murder you?)

4) They casually mention how “skinny” you look now that you’ve shed those extra lb’s from living off of nuts, fruits, and left over animal fat (are they planning to eat you?)

5) It’s like “ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME OR SOMETHING?” (but you’re, like, pretty sure the answer is yes.)

6) They don’t get along with your parents.

7) They start lying and trying to trick you in to climbing down from the tree where you’ve been hiding to “talk” to them.

8) Whenever they talk all you hear is “blah blah blah blood thirsty murderer blah blah blah”

I mean call me a “jaded” or “damaged” or “crazy,” but I think being in the Hunger Games would be the absolute worst.