One time I had to share a hotel room bed with my mom and I decided to live tweet it:
This weekend I saw a small child pooping a public park while her parents stood guard. They didn’t do a very good job at their assigned task because I saw the child’s naked ass without even trying.
Don’t get me wrong. I get it. Kids gotta do what they gotta do sometimes. One of my mom’s favorite stories to tell new friends is about the time I was 3, we were on a roadtrip, and I forced us to pull over in the desert so my dad could dangle me out the back door of the minivan, while I peed into the wind.
I get it. Kids gotta get their shit together. But this child was pooping in a public park sandwiched between two restaurants, across the street from a Starbucks. That park was public as fuck. All they had to do was buy a Tazo tea and then no one had to see poop leaving a butt before noon.
What I’m saying is, I never would have let that happen. What I’m saying is, I think I’m ready to have a baby. ;)
Popular birth control pill Loestrin® has announced a new campaign to promote safer and healthier sexual practices for a younger generation by combining forces with some of Hollywood’s top celebrities. This June they will launch their largest campaign to date featuring the following famous faces:
A Woman on Fire:
Joan of Arc:
An advisory from the company includes a risk of side effects, which may include temporary psychosis, but a statement from Loestrin’s ® President Mr. Peanut says “definitely, probably not tho.”
1. Scream “LOOK OVER THERE!”
2. Burn down the building.
3. Eat ice cream for dinner!!!!!!